Hi, My name is Chicken Little.

Awful day at work. One of those days where you do nothing right and you walk out the door on you way to a giant pity party. And it was going so well! My alarm hit 3:45 and I was UP. I was AWAKE. I did an hour of running/walking/stairs in the big arena and for once was motivated. I had a fabulous green juice for breakfast. I had a fabulous salad and steamed veggies waiting for me when I got home. And then this negative forcefield wrapped its ugly claws around my attitude and POOF.

It's been bugging me all afternoon. Today was my fresh start from a long, relaxing, BBQ-filled weekend. I was ready to get back on track. And it gets easier and easier to not stray too far off the reservation. BBQ's happen. Dinners out happen. Keep on, keeping on....

The funny thing? I've done everything I've set out to do today- working out, eating well, I've been on track. So why let it get to me? I don't know.

So my best friend has this picture of me. It's circa late 2003 and no one today can even believe it's me. My face is so squishy you can't see my eyes. My arms are stuck out so far to accommodate my girth that I'm surprised my shoulders didn't stretch. There is no mistake. I was obese.

I was the fat friend. And this is my fattest picture. And when I get it back this weekend, I'm going to post it. I'm not sure what to do with it beyond that, though. I threw out my old clothes down to my old undies. I don't require physical reminders. I was in denial about how truly big I got, but I certainly remember how awful I felt. And I get truly worried. What happens when I have children? Is it going to come piling back on + some? Is this my short stint in rehab before I'm tossed out on the street again?

I would love to go for a run, but it looks as though the great flood is coming upon us any moment. Ever since the start of summer, I have wanted no part in the gym. This is good. It's making me run, which is turning into something I'm..........enjoying........