SONG FOR TODAY: Helena, Nickel Creek

What a relief.

So since late alst fall, I have been in a 6-12 (12 pounds at Christmas) pound struggle. Sometimes, I would hover so close to 135 I could taste it, but it would never last. I certainly never felt 135. My highest was 144 after Christmas. I was so disappointed in myself, but relieved at the same time. I had caught it. My complacency fuse didn't seem all that short. So I got to work. I put myself on a 4 day juice fast. It gave me some relief in the sense that I didn't feel like I was carrying around Christmas dinner anymore. My energy went up. It brought back a sense of where I should be food-wise and not where I actually had been. It cleaned my soul as well as my viens. It's so funny. After a juice fast your taste buds are acutely aware of anything you may even think about putting in your mouth. A lot of foods just sound repulsive. When people ask me about my juices, I'm usually met with curiosity (I work on a college campus so it is probably met with a more open mind). My father, who is possibly the healthiest and most educated man in the area of food that I know, thinks it's great. My mother, whose health is a minefied of heart issues, HBP, clots, nerve damage, emphazema (sp?).... thinks it's unhealthy. As do others.

I don't understand. I take 3-4 days every few months to get back to "center", clean the system out and get a nutritional boost and I'm still getting most of my calories. What's the problem?
You can shove a big mac, a quarter pounder w/cheese and a supersized fry (don't forget the milshake) into your mouth, yet there must be something inherently wrong with what I'm doing?

Eh? Enlighten the the holdout member of the fast food nation, Obi Won.

And don't even get me started on the diary council. Since when do cows need a "council"?

So back to post Christmas. I was able to get down to 138 and stay there until late june. I got down to just uner 135, but would fluctuate up to just under 14o. Time to tweak the system a bit. I looked at my breakfast, my largest meal of the day by far. I had figured that since I was up at 3:45 and wokring (or working out) until 12, 1, 2, whatever I ate would need to last me. Well, that turned out to be way too much. I switched it out (egg whites, juice, sometimes some oatmeal) with a green juice and coffee (about 350 calories) and a raw midmorning snack and added working out in the big arena before 7 am. I also started adding jogging to the routine. Not much, but I'm still a baby runner. Hell, I'm not even a runner. I kept my weekend habits the same, but have cut a lot of the soda I treat myself to on Saturday. And I have found, at LAST, a stable weight. I have been at 134/135 for over 2 weeks now. My weight is the same friday, monday, wednesdy. And I've been eating an unusually high (for me, anyway) amount of wholewheat pasta.

And I feel damn good.

So I'm thinking the two main variables at work here is jogging/working out super early has boosted/stabilized my metabolism and I've cut some unneeded calories in the morning (and found some unaccounted ones as well). I think I'm starting to get a hold of this maintaining thing, no?

On the menu for today:

green juice
grande non fat latte
orange
1 egg + 1 egg white
salad- baby greens, red onion, carrots... oh, we'll see when I open the firdge...
leftover whole wheat enirched rotini with vegetable marinara. Might make some turkey meatballs, per Ross.