Back and already out of shape.

So Im sitting in the airport in Houston. I’m sporting the most beautiful suburn/tan. I’m wearing seashells. And flip slips. AND a tube top and I could care less. The lady at the check-in counter gave us our own row because she thought we were on our honeymoon. Business men are staring. My tanlines are telling one hell of a story.

I get off the plane in Denver and it’s SNOWING. Now I feel stupid. I feel like the deep-down Texan I’ve always tried to suppress.

The trip was amazing. I was actually born down there and it brought out a lot of memories I had forgotten about. There were a lot of kinks. It rained at some point every day. There was a red tide which resulted in a fish kill (BLECH) and our window was shot out as we were driving back to Houston. But even when I think about all that, it really made no difference. I had a truly incredible time.

And I only gained 3 pounds (and they’re already gone!). I took my own advice in my previous post and accepted the fact that I wasn’t going to eat like a saint and to not fret about it. And anyone who says they can’t exercise on the beach is full of shit. Between boogie boarding, football, romantic strolls and all that other stuff, I was plenty busy. I don’t know what it is, but I feel like the moment I got there the life got thrown right back into me. Perhaps it was the warm weather or the early morning teas with my dad. The only thing that did me in was the drinking. There is something about salty air and 90 degree weather that makes a Corona taste like fine champagne.

I’m easing my way back into the routine. I went for my first run yesterday and oh dear god was it hard. My legs ached and my throat burned. I suppose that’s what life back at high altitude will do. But I refuse to get into the rut that I got into last winter. I had no vain reason to keep in shape and I backslid my way to 144. I will find a way this winter to be active and stay out of that funk! I’m going to save up for some cold weather running gear I think.

Ok. So here is my bikini picture. It isn’t really me. Really. I don’t look like that. The light was incredible for taking pictures. I have other ones where you can see the result of my weight loss in my stomach (including one where I’m sitting down- eek). But the sun Gods and bikini gods and tan gods were dancing in perfect unison and it just came out.

But you know what? That IS me. I think it's about time I owned it- saggy tummy, killer legs, strong shoulders and all. I was so ashamed of "owning" myself. I was afraid of myself. I covered it up with big sweaters and big jewelry. I still have the posture of someone who doesn't think all that much of themselves and I think it's time to own that too.

It is me.