I haven't smoked!

And I briefly went up about 4 pounds (EEEEEK!), but it's wandering back to normal. I got a bit hooked on orange Creamsavers for a couple of weeks, but I'm SHOCKED at how smoothly it's going and how I'm not freaking out over the oral fixation thing. I thought that the hardest part would be in the car, but I was wrong. I will just be sitting there watching TV or something and then BAM! I want a cigarette. Go know. But it really isn't nearly as hard as I thought.

So yeah. Go me.

Ok. So I broke down a dozen times at work the first week (my boss now has a palpable fear in my presence) and I will never forgive Ross for rebuffing my pleas to go get cigarettes, but whatever.

So upon getting only 3.5 hours of sleep and I'm working a 10 hour shift (which is ironic because I normally don't and Ross told me last night that he hopes I have to work a long day today for keeping him up last night- you got your wish, dear), I didn't even consider bringing my workout clothes with me. I will hit the track after work in hopes of sucking up as much time outdoors as I can before it gets cold. I have one week until Padre, so I'm running out of time (and excuses).

My eating on Monday was downright ugly. I don't know what came over me. I ate just about everything in sight! I guess that explains why I haven't been very hungry since then. I don't understand. Every once in a while, about once a month, I just get soooo hungry. But am I really hungry? I'm starting to see myself for what I may really be- a sabbatoger. I am going to be on my first beach run since the new bod and part of me is really freaking out. I set this goal to be in excellent shape and I have noticed some differences, but the place that I was really hoping for- my tummy and midsection- doesn't seem to have benefited much from the extra work and it's SO FRUSTRATING. And that frustration is channeling into anxiety and it all makes me want to eat a burger and hide under the covers (I haven't done either, so it's a good sign).

It just plan sucks, though.

But don't get me wrong. I'm still aching to get down there, set up my lawn chair in the surf, crack a book and open a Corona.