Time to get it off my chest. Finally.
Song of the day: Mist, John Butler Trio
So I wake up at 3:45 4 mornings a week. People think I'm nuts. I work with college students (RICH college students) and they make it seem like some Hurculean (is this even a word?) event. You know what? I'm over it. I've conquered my snooze button and moved on. We have one supervisor who will whine in the most melodramtic manner if she has to open her eyes before 10. And everytime I see her I have to hear about how miserable my life must be to have to be up that early. How you couldn't pay her enough. How "you must be SOOO tired, but YOU signed up for it!" I know that. And I'm not bitching. It's as though she has assigned me this punishment which just isn't there. It's as though she wants me to feel like garbage about my life. But that's ok. What happens when this college grad actually gets a real job that requires her to be somewhere by- GASP!- 8 a.m.?
But this has nothing to do with the snide comments she leaves me with as I leave work. My lack of respect and diappointment extends way deeper than that.
She is, simply put, a coward.
When a man collapsed because his heart basically exploded on the ice, she knew it was bad, yet she hid behind the desk, never having to look at the ugliness of it all. She never even set foot out there. She was my "superior" at the time and when they started banging on the glass for help, I looked at her to see what she was going to do (she should have gone out there, I should have called the medics). She just stood there. No gut check moment for her.
So I just went. He was dying by the time I reached him. One of our employees had dropped by to skate and was on the ice, just holding the guys head in his hands.
These big, tough, never-afraid-to-be-asshole hockey players had been reduced to screaming little girls. Picture a bunch of guys standing around screaming "Do something! Do something!" and flapping their hands and that's what they looked like. I asked if anyone knew CPR that could help. They shut up.
See, they don't prepare you in training for what the body actually does when it dies. It's really gross and I will spare the details. I was surprised at how disgusted I felt when I was finally pushed aside by the firefighters.
The off duty emplyee who was on the ice, but totally fear-stricken came off with me and said that he hoped that he never had to see anything like that again. I found out later he had just completed his EMT training.
There was so much bizarness to it all. I've resolved my fate that night. Hell, I never believed in fate until that night. I've made my peace with the fact that I failed. What if I hadn't? What if he got a pulse back, but was a vegetable for the rest of his life?
I learned that the "what ifs?" simply don't exist.
But I haven't resolved my disgust with her. Perhaps I'm jealous. She got off easy. Perhaps I think it should've been her, not me. When things like that happen, the true colors of people are revealed, and what I saw painted an ugly picture. I spoke with her the next day and she sounded completely normal as she headed off to tea with her mom. Go know. This year at CPR training, our instructor brought it up.
"Well thank God I was there. Who knows what could've happened.", she added. What. Someone could've walked off with the drawer? Well, thank God you were there to protect the $200. Someone had to do it, right?
I got up and went to the bathroom.
I don't know why this is my only unresolved issue. When you lose all respect for a person, just like that, it's hard to find it again. Whatever the reason, I need to get over it. I hope one of us finds another job soon.
So I wake up at 3:45 4 mornings a week. People think I'm nuts. I work with college students (RICH college students) and they make it seem like some Hurculean (is this even a word?) event. You know what? I'm over it. I've conquered my snooze button and moved on. We have one supervisor who will whine in the most melodramtic manner if she has to open her eyes before 10. And everytime I see her I have to hear about how miserable my life must be to have to be up that early. How you couldn't pay her enough. How "you must be SOOO tired, but YOU signed up for it!" I know that. And I'm not bitching. It's as though she has assigned me this punishment which just isn't there. It's as though she wants me to feel like garbage about my life. But that's ok. What happens when this college grad actually gets a real job that requires her to be somewhere by- GASP!- 8 a.m.?
But this has nothing to do with the snide comments she leaves me with as I leave work. My lack of respect and diappointment extends way deeper than that.
She is, simply put, a coward.
When a man collapsed because his heart basically exploded on the ice, she knew it was bad, yet she hid behind the desk, never having to look at the ugliness of it all. She never even set foot out there. She was my "superior" at the time and when they started banging on the glass for help, I looked at her to see what she was going to do (she should have gone out there, I should have called the medics). She just stood there. No gut check moment for her.
So I just went. He was dying by the time I reached him. One of our employees had dropped by to skate and was on the ice, just holding the guys head in his hands.
These big, tough, never-afraid-to-be-asshole hockey players had been reduced to screaming little girls. Picture a bunch of guys standing around screaming "Do something! Do something!" and flapping their hands and that's what they looked like. I asked if anyone knew CPR that could help. They shut up.
See, they don't prepare you in training for what the body actually does when it dies. It's really gross and I will spare the details. I was surprised at how disgusted I felt when I was finally pushed aside by the firefighters.
The off duty emplyee who was on the ice, but totally fear-stricken came off with me and said that he hoped that he never had to see anything like that again. I found out later he had just completed his EMT training.
There was so much bizarness to it all. I've resolved my fate that night. Hell, I never believed in fate until that night. I've made my peace with the fact that I failed. What if I hadn't? What if he got a pulse back, but was a vegetable for the rest of his life?
I learned that the "what ifs?" simply don't exist.
But I haven't resolved my disgust with her. Perhaps I'm jealous. She got off easy. Perhaps I think it should've been her, not me. When things like that happen, the true colors of people are revealed, and what I saw painted an ugly picture. I spoke with her the next day and she sounded completely normal as she headed off to tea with her mom. Go know. This year at CPR training, our instructor brought it up.
"Well thank God I was there. Who knows what could've happened.", she added. What. Someone could've walked off with the drawer? Well, thank God you were there to protect the $200. Someone had to do it, right?
I got up and went to the bathroom.
I don't know why this is my only unresolved issue. When you lose all respect for a person, just like that, it's hard to find it again. Whatever the reason, I need to get over it. I hope one of us finds another job soon.
posted by jenfromtheco | 5:11 AM
1 Comments:
OMG that is totally unexcuseable that she did that. What a coward who does not deserve to be in her position. It sounds as if she was totally unaffected by the whole thing and you made her look good by acting on your instincts. So often work is just not fair Jen...as is life. You just have to be that kick a$$ person that YOU ARE and know that in the end it all works out. She's not going much farther in life from what I can tell.
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