Stop the train. I wanna get off.

So I was perusing blogs today. Sometimes, I just click that little button at the top that says "next blog" and I usually have to go through about 10 before I read one that isn't in spanish, about the Red Sox, or devoted to the stock market or real estate. Today, I found an evangelical that I agree with and a blog that is devoted to everthing that is wrong with Commerce City, Colorado.

What are the chances?

I want to start driving again, except I'm stuck in this parallel universe where I hate driving because someone at some point will kill me and the D line is getting old. Fast. Last week I was sitting in my seat minding my own damn business when this woman SITS ON MY LAP. The weird thing was, she wasn't one of the crazy ones- she just abandoned all of her manners and didn't feel like asking me to scoot over. Do you know how many times in my life I have sat on a complete stranger's lap? None. Not once in 25 years. Surely, it's not that hard to avoid.

And today's incident was just awful. I was standing at the top of the steps, waiting for the train to stop at school when this woman with a little girl of about 3 years old pushes me to get in front so she could get off first. Well, I don't hit women with children in tow (ok fine. I don't hit anyone because I'm a weenie), so I just scoffed. Quietly. And she actually heard it. So she turns around to give me a dirty look and is so irked that she forgets she has a kid with her. Well, the train stops and this kid is standing at the top of the stairs. So when it stops, the kid goes flying head first down the stairs against the door. Then the door opens and squishes this poor child in it. I hope that poor girl was ok (besides having a retard for a mother, I'm sure she was), but the woman was so embarassed that she ran off before I could check (working at a rec facility with tons of kids for 5 years, I have developed a parental instinct to check all children who fall down for life-threatening injuries. This mostly just freaks people out).

Alright, Stephanie. You take the train. I know you have stories. Lets here 'em.

Someone please STOP THE INSANITY. Seriously. Susan Powter is about to bang down my front door and personally rip the refrigerator from the wall. The day that is forever known as PMS Monday is finally over. When I add it all up, it's not all that bad. Some lentil soup. Some cheese. Some strawberries. An orange. Lots of Diet Pepsi.... stuff like that. But I just grazed alllllll day long. And now I feel icky. I now have 2 weeks, count 'em, 2 WEEKS until Nashville and I am not looking or feeling my best as planned. But, as you can see from the items listed above, my kitchen is relatively binge-proof, so that helps. Now I just need to call the grocery stores to tell them to not sell any chocolate products to Ross. There will be no contraband allowed past that front door.

the weather is around 60 this week so I have no excuse not to be hitting the pavement. Actually, I'm quite pleased at how well I've managed without a gym membership. I feel much more free when I can just go outside and "play".

I had my first band concert in 3 years. Boy, did I feel silly. I'll tell you what, though, not as silly as our first chair who played the entire show with her ass hanging out of her pants, facing the audience no less. You know those people who can't ever bother with pulling their pants up? She's one of them. And now 300 people know how white her butt is. I need some knew concert pants. I got these on sale at Old Navy and they are the "skinny" kind, but I wasn't anticipating having them hike halfway up my leg when I sit down and having to pull them down everytime I stand up. And now 300 people know how pasty white my legs are.

Fashion feaux-pas aside, it was a lot of fun. And I'm sure Mr. Pelz stopped by for a number or two.