Damn you treadmill! DAMN YOU!

I don't know if it was the massage I had that morning or the fact that juggling everything has left me tired, but I was running like a 90 year old with a broken hip on Saturday. I was doing yoga on Wednesday and the instructor demonstrated a full back bend and I thought, "Hey! I can do that!". Well, when I was 8 years old I could do that. I really could do the backbend, but my back muscles were NOT in the mood and I have never been so tight in my life.

Massages to me are a luxery and I get about 3 a year when I really need it, usually for my ankle. It's weird when you really listen to your body, it speaks loud and clear. Since my life is very different than it has been over the past year, I've been going through an adjustment period.

No longer can I drag myself out of bed at 3:45 am, go to work, run errands and work out and be done by 2 or 3 and nap all I want. I am now a slave to the classroom and those little torture contraptions they make you sit in (I swear they were more tolerable when my ass wasn't as bony). I now wake up with a greater purpose, which is nice, but I'm not sure if I'm getting any more sleep. I kinda shoot out of bed when Ross leaves whether I'm ready or not and am so anxious about sleeping through the day that I can't sleep at all! Who is this girl and what has she done with Jen???

But in my antsiness I was up by 7 am on saturday and Sunday and did a total of about 6 hours of homework. Could I actually graduate from college? It seems such an easy task for everyone else I know to get that stupid little piece of paper, but it has been a struggle for me. In school one semester, a semester "off" to work and catch up on bills and so on and so forth. It was as though I could use any excuse life could offer up to NOT do it. Why?

Beats me.

So it's over. I have no excuses. No shiny new boyfriend, no medical disaster, no creditors (well, there's always those), no "focusing on my health". Just getting on with it.

So today is shaping up nicely. I did weights, core, and yoga this morning. I was hoping to start running outside agian, but snow and cold is YET AGAIN in the forecast. I had an orange the size of my head for breakfast and will have the most delicious romaine and artichoke salad with vinegarette before I head out the door. It's weird. I'm gone from 11-6, but I do not get hungry. My body definitely needs the fuel and by Piano I am ready to pass out, but I have no desire to eat. What's even stranger is the fact that when I get home I am hungry, but not so much that I tear through the kitchen on a bender. I will fix that this week, because I can't go on feeling that crappy. Don't get me wrong, I'm eating enough calories (and certainly make up for it on the weekends if I don't), but I've had a liberal and luxerious schedule eating and convenience-wise so it's just one of those things I have to figure out in time.