Raw.

So I did a few days of jucing and moved into raw this week. I wasn't planning on it. It just sort of happened. I've been eating a LOT of food, but I feel amazing. I had the past couple of days off of work and have been a running machine. Poor Ross. He's sticking out the juice fast till today I think. He did really well. He only got tired yesterday. I can't imagine if he had kept working out like he had originally planned. I'm contemplating veganism. Of course, that will be shot out the window promptly at dinner tommorrow. I am a turkey junkie (isn't that what they called Ralphie's dad in A Christmas Story?). I LOVE that movie.

I've started something, I think. My friend is joining the Navy and now she is planning a juice fast, but that's only to get to that magic number she needs to see before they will sign her (hopefully she will take my advice and not drink Nakeds the entire time as the mission is to actually lose weight). I see myself 2.5 years ago. Once I learned that I could "do it", absolutely nothing got in my way. I'm certain I was a total pain in the ass to be around. For one thing, when you start to lose an excessive amount of weight, vanity REALLY takes over. Well, maybe not to a better person, but it bit me in the ass. Suddenly, your friends have lost the original Jen and now must put up with, "Can you really tell?" "Hold on while I stand in front of this mirror for an hour and a half". I'm surpised I retained as many friends as I did. They also have to put up with you being obsessive about things like food and exercise, which is an important part of someone's daily life and makes them seem like a totally different person.

I can't believe people are as surprised as they are that they lose friends when they lose weight.

"Your friends are just jealous"

"They can't handle the 'new' you"

"They are the skinny one, not you"

All of these can be true. But the fact is, YOU CHANGE! It didn't happen one day when I woke up and weighed 130 pounds (for like a day). It was a change that happened gradually as I began to reclaim and own who I was. I was no longer afraid of what would happen if I spoke my mind. My body and person and self just came together.

Yeah, that will change someone.

I'm grateful my true friends were as supportive. Some weren't. My guy friends who had been my friends for a couple of years suddenly dropped me when their girlfriends saw me. Suddenly, I was nothing but an afterthought. People who had never bothered with me before suddenly found me "worthy" I learned a lot not only about myself, but about others. I learned about friendship. My friends have their own struggles, but still cheer me on every step of the way.

Thats why when I see this friend who is now a "loser", I feel a little sad. Will she forget about us that cheered her on in her wake? Will she too be exposed to the realities that your appearance does matter and that will become blatently clear? Will it disenfranchise her or make her stronger? I feel she will be fine. I see the change already and know that I will be there for her as she was for me. My memory is long.