loved and lost...

Listening to on repeat today: Hundred, The Fray

You know that expression that goes something like, "It's supposed to end badly, otherwise it wouldn't end". I never thought that was true. Even though in this case it's true, I still think it's a bullshit statement and should be banished from my mind. I hate it that much. BULL. SHIT.

I have these two friends. They are, if you can put a name on them, soulmates. We navigate this planet just trying to get by and have a good time doing so, but we always meet up and form this perfect triangle where all the points come together, never falling short and never overlapping. I have known them longer than I've known anyone. We are all musicians, We were all meant for eachother. It's the kind of friendship you always thought would be there- one that can always be relied upon.

The girl is the free spirit's free spirit. She has never let herself be tied down to anything or anyone. She is one of the truest beauties. In high school, I could be robbing a bank and I knew that as long as I was with her, I would never get caught. Bad things just don't happen to her. She entered the local beauty pageant on a whim- and won. Little hippy. I'm pretty sure she had a joint tucked in the brassiere of her gown. She defines the word "charmed".

But it's catching up to her.

The boy is my musical soul mate. He is much like the girl in the sense that he lives the word "free". But he lives it in a different way. He was born to conquer every mountain in his sights and beyond- literally. He knows no physical bounds. He taught me to climb, navigate through the woods in the pitch black, and take a bong rip. He taught me to let go. For this, I will love him forever.

It's caught up to him several times now.

So the boy moved away to another mountain town in another state. I will miss him, but it's a good thing. His going away party was on Friday. Those Boulder boys that I love more than life itself, who I would trust with my first born, who have always taught me the lay of the land, were there. The boy was there and so was the girl. I have never felt so much love in any given place, until it got ugly.

You see, she likes boys. The boy recognizes this and accepts it, except when it comes to his boys. It's all quite childish and stupid. Well, the girl kissed the boy's friend last time and it was a couple of months until they cleared the air. But they did. Then, on friday night, the girl kissed (and more) another friend- in the boy's room- and that was it. I have never seen him act so enraged. He threw stuff. He got violent.

He hit her.

He hit a GIRL. He hit THE girl. I have never seen a boy hit a girl. And The Boy hit The Girl.

And then it was over. The shield I had been so fooled into thinking would protect us from evil always had dissipated at that very moment. Trust in others is a tricky thing, especially when it is naturally occurring, which to me is ever so rare.

The girl will not speak to the boy ever again (I don't blame her). The boy will not speak to the girl again. He has apologized. I have cried and yelled and have told him over and over and over again that you DON'T HIT GIRLS. EVER.

I wonder if this was always in the cards, if we were just wandering naively through life thinking that no matter what we did we could always meet in the middle. When I was 19 this wouldn't have mattered. Perhaps we have all been hurt by outsiders too much. Perhaps our own behavior caught up to us. Whatever the reason, it's a damn shame. A damn shame.