DAMMIT

I'll tell you what. In all of this chaos that's going on right now, I never imagined THIS would be my problem.

Prior to going to Nashville, I sent out a few resumes. One was to my very first choice, a very prestigious music publisher. I didn't hear back.

Until today.

The ink is still drying on my Grammy paperwork when an email shows up in my inbox from the president of the company wanting to discuss me working for them.

Isn't that a son of a bitch?

Ross says he has no sympathy whatsoever and my ego is officially too big to fit through the door. I'm more upset because I wanted so desperately to see how an operation like that functioned. Don't get me wrong, the more I learned about the recording academy the more I wanted to work for them, but still...

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I am up a good 7 pounds. They switched my birth control and I swear it came on in now more than 10 minutes. Literally, I woke up the next morning up 4 pounds. I haven't been working out too much (rehabing the knee still) so my appetite has been quite paltry. I then went on a water drinking mission to try to flush it out and now THAT water is sitting there, alas, up 7 pounds. I just don't know what to do about it. This is NOT the condition I wanted to leave for Nashville in.

I did however, get to meet the govenor of Colorado at CU's Research Symposium which featured the label I work for. He's a grabby fellow. Just kidding, he was very nice and a very warm person. It's nice to meet someone you actually voted for.

CONFESSION

I just had myself a little stress binge. It wasn't awful, but enough to keep me up with a really upset tummy. It was a big bowl of airpopped popcorn and a big cup of coffee to make me alert at this late hour to complete a test I had no business taking in the first place. I made the popcorn as "study food", something to keep me going- to nibble on as I tackled the project. This did not happen. I just sat there and ate the popcorn and nothing stared at my computer screen because I seriously did not know where to start. I don't think it's that I ate the bowl of popcorn so late at night, but the manner in which I ate it. And reading it, it doesn't sound bad at all. In fact, if my stomach didn't hurt so damn much right now I probably wouldn't have given it a second thought. I'm grateful that I have finally after a lifetime of misgivings learned my body's cues- hell, that my body even HAS cues is a miracle to me.

BAD NEWS, Jen.

I think this will be a little easier to move on from, though, because today is Garbage Disposal Monday- that glorious Monday before TOM when I want to eat (and sometimes do) eat everything in sight. I have been doing really well with it, mostly because I'm in school for 6 hours, but I have a 2 hour break and I have NOT YET GONE TO THE CAMPUS FOOD COURT and have managed to look foward to the yummy munchies I pack in my pink lunchbox that Ross got me for Christmas that I love so much. Today it was:

6 small-medium strawberries
string cheese
sliced avocado with lemon, salt, and pepper (one of my favorite foods since early childhood)
carrot/celery sticks

I went for an amazing trail run/hike yeserday. I went off by myself while Ross went out to Green Mountain with his new mountain bike back up towards Red Rocks on a trail I always pass, but have never stopped at. I did about an hour and a half there and then drove to Green mountain and did another 4o minutes there while Ross made one last loop. I hadn't done that mountain (and don't think mountain in standard terms, it's a foothill) since I was 12 and I am not pleased with the motocross track they put in right next to it. The first hike I did was not like last week's. It was uneven, rocky, and hilly (not straight incline, but staggered). There were quite a few mountain bikers that I passed. Why go all the way out there only to have to carry your bike over a bunch of rocks??? I mean, they probably mentioned that in the guidebook you looked in. My only complaint is the deer leg that had obviously been chewed off by some cute little harmless mountain lion and was left hanging on a tree by someone with a really bad sense of humor.

After that, my legs are cooked. Hopefully, if I can get some decent sleep I can head back out again tomorrow. I just want to eat this place up with my sneakers before I leave. I didn't realize, though, that I will in close poximity to the Appalachain Trail, something I've dreamed about since high school (I'm a Copland junky).