Soooooo tired. Good tired.

UGH. It's ironic that I responded to Jaime's post confronting this very issue saying, "don't worry, it's temporary and completely ok" and here I am, FREAKING OUT because the scale shows a 4 pound GAIN since I started this workout regiment. I know better. The thing is though, that maybe I need to more carefully scrutinize what I eat. I have a tendency to "sneak" stuff throughout the day- half a granola bar here, a 100 calorie pack there. It's not gut busting stuff and I pack plenty of healthy stuff, but it adds up. Also, I have had some ridiculously ravenous days where my stomach HURTS I'm so hungry.

When I do that, I can gauge how much trouble I will be in scale-wise, but I've thrown a new variable into the mix...Changing my so-so, barely acceptable workout schedule to my consistent, fail proof routine has seriously rocked my world. And my pants don't even fit better! I just feel BEEFY!

But my plan is in place. I will give it a couple of weeks, see how it goes. I do have to say, I got some resistance bands for Christmas from Ross (Shout out to Ross!) and my arms have NEVER looked better.

Yesterday was not bad eating and workout wise. I walked all over catching buses and traipsing across campus, and then did 30 minutes on the elliptical and swam laps for 25. My body is tired and it's a GOOD tired. It's been too long.

Moving along....

Night 2 at the gym last night. Even though I go to R's gym in Golden on the weekends, do tae bo at home and run when the weather cooperates, it's a totally different story when I have my own gym, close to home. I feel committed to the cause, so to speak.

Crazy busy today prepping for our vip party on Monday, but I have packed protein and will be out and about, so hopefully NO SNACKING! I have my tea, my carrots, my tuna, and I'm ready to spend an exciting Friday night at the gym.

The Turning Point

We joined a gym last night AND we worked out! It had been such a nightmare trying to work out. It's been cold cold cold, we have to get home to the dog, not to mention that Ross is technically the only one of us with an actual membership, which is in a completely different town.

So, we joined the Y, close to home. We got home last night, watched some bad TV, ate dinner, did some wedding stuff, walked the dog and then went to the gym. It's nice to be able to not have working out consume what little of your day you have to yourself (not that I mind working out, but when most of your evening is spent getting ready and driving to the gym...)


I feel better already.

Not consistently working out definitely affects me and not in a good way. I feel sluggish, I don't eat as well, and I always feel a little "sickly".

But today is the turning point. When I met Ross, we were both gym rats and I would go so far to say that we "dated" at the gym. It sounds pathetic, but we looked pretty damn good.

Please do not put chocolate/bagels/chips/cookies/doughnuts directly in front of the former fat girl.

Sounds easy enough, right? RIGHT?

I work with 7 people in a building big enough to employ 40 or more (it's a production studio) and I have the biggest desk and I'm the person people see first. It's actually this really nice big cherry wood desk/counter that is modeled after the entrance to a movie theater. It actually is the entrance to our high def screening room. Pretty cool. Please note that I'm avoiding the term "reception" because I'm not. I have been and once you are coined "receptionist", people tend to treat you as such (which totally SUCKS from my experience, but story for another time). I do all sorts of fun stuff, mostly related to production and music supervision. And I do make coffee, but only because I'm the newest (and I guess lowest) on the totem pole, but I get an intern in a few days, so, go me.

ANYWAY. I also work with men. Well, except for the accountant, but she's like a guy anyways (which is awesome). And you know, as unfortunate as it is, guys can get away with grazing upon the goodies that arrive here regularly, but I can't. I get that I have to take some personal responsibility here, but it sucks to literally, have it piled up in front of me.

Today was good , though ;)

We ordered a steadycam from Switzerland and they included a big box of Swiss chocolate squares (like, real Swiss chocolate). I had myself an orange chocolate square and it's amazing what some quality chocolate will do to a chocolate craving. I had one square, and no desire to dive into the pile in front of me. It's that satisfying. YUM.

So, aside from the chocolate, I have been on plan today. Ross is out of town for work, so hopefully I will be motivated to actually go TO the gym. Yesterday I managed a 45 minute tae bo/cardio session mixed with working with the resistance bands Ross got me for Christmas. We ate at Whole Foods and I did really well there, too. A cup of lemon/chx/spinach soup (minus the chicken) and a salad with balsamic and tofu and sprouts.

Today it's:
green smoothie (OJ, selter, blueberries, psyllium, spinach)
carrots (raw)
tomato, chive and ff cottage cheese
all natural crunchy peanut butter (2 tsp) w/ small honeycrisp apple

dinner: mushroom/spinach salad and thai noodle soup?

Tuesday

Could not sleep last night, not to mention I could not work out as planned. Snow + BCS game = no one going anywhere.... However, I do get off early today as I have to run a car out to the airport, so hopefully after a nap I will be good to go. It snowed last night, but it's pretty much dry now, so I may try to make that an outdoor run vs. a gym. I do need to get info on the bikini boot camp that they offer, though. I weighed in a day early... 146. I don't know if that's still water weight as it usually takes a whole week to get back to normal, but I SHOULD know because I SHOULD be weighing consistently. This is what happens to me when I don't. Yeah, that scale doesn't matter, the scale doesn't gauge this that or the other, but numbers are numbers and when I have no accountability on the scale, everything goes straight to hell. Period.

So....Scared.

I'm TERRIFIED to get on the scale. Absolutely. Terrified. It's not like when you take a test and you think you did poorly, but you actually aced it, or the other way around. If I think I've gained weight, I have. No doubt about it. So instead of continuing down the buffet line, I've set a date. Wednesday is weigh-in day. I got back on plan last week and got in some exercise, but blew the eating over the weekend. I have GOT to get a handle on that. I mean, it wasn't horrible, but TOM came to town and I was nothing short of ravenous.

So, hopefully we'll kill off some of that water weight and my appetite will come down and this week will be nice and clean.

We thought about joining a gym closer to where we live downtown and the Colorado Athletic Club was an obvious choice. (it SUCKS getting to the gym as we live downtown and Ross works in Golden and me in Boulder and I go to his in Golden.) Not to mention getting home at a reasonable hour is necessary now that we have the dog.

We were invited to try it for 5 visits and we learned that $150 essentially pays for the really nice locker room and the privilege of working out on an elliptical that hasn't been wiped down in forever because why on earth should the important corporate crowd have to clean up after themselves?

But damn, those locker rooms are sweet.

So now we are resigned to running when weather permits (better for the dog, too) and working out on the weekends at the gym. I also got some resistance bands for Christmas and OnDemand is still offering Billy Blanks, so that will have to work.

My problem, and perhaps others as well, is that I really have to motivate myself and focus to make a home workout beneficial and to get a good, long, sweat. I had the great advantage of working where I had a nice fitness center when I lost weight, and now I have to get creative. Not to mention I don't want to completely piss off out downstairs neighbor and I HATE working out at home.