Have faith. Have faith. HAVE FAITH. That's what Dolly would say.

I love Dolly Parton. Such a gem.

I am NOT sleeping well. This is pretty typical when I can't alleviate stress in the best way I know how: by working out. I did, however, dance around my living room for 40 minutes today to Notorious B.I.G, Pat Benetar, and Madonna. Does that count? What if I wasn't wearing a sports bra (or any bra for that matter)? Does it still count?

All in all, it has been a fantastic day. I recieved an email from the Recording Academy (I'm no longer allowed to call it the Grammys). My new boss asked me if I wanted to be their 2007 summer intern. They asked me when I was out there, but it's always nice to have it in writing. What floored me and made me pee my pants a little was the realization that there is in fact, only 1 intern. I'm sure the work is back breaking and plenty of people will be plenty mean to me, but my chest is pretty big right now (and my chest is SO not big normally. Really, I have no boobs). Things are coming together: letters are being written on my behalf ("no, she's not an axe murderer", "yes, she will recieve credit").... I had to meet with the dean of my college to BEG him to let me go. Last year I had a series of events transpire that caused me to lose all focus on my education. When I should have withdrawn I didn't and now there is this giant balck mark on my transcript. I was told yesterday that I do qualify for a transcript adjustment, but my GPA is still in the hole from it. Because of that, I do not meet the requirement for an internship for the university.

But I went anyway. I knew damn well that he could've said "no way", but it's hard to say no to the Recording Academy and I could demonstrate that without that semester, my GPA is great.

Ok. Here's my PSA: There are seemingly insurmountable obstacles in life. Some of them are even your own doing (see above), but you won't conquer a thing if you don't suck it up, take a chance, and BELIEVE. It's hard sometimes. Sometimes you just have to act first and hope the results fall into place.

LEAP, AND THE NET WILL APPEAR (right, Erin?)

Of course, I don't always buy this and it's much easier to believe in situations like this, but give it a shot sometime.

Now dammit, if it would just stop snowing I could go for a run (or at least a walk) and get a decent night's sleep.

Rambling.

So Ross and I went hiking this morning. It was still a bit wet in some spots because it's Spring (!), but it was warm and dry and all of those things I love about Colorado. I set my watch for 40 minutes up (Ross decided to run, I decided he had lost his mind) and began at a brisk, but steady pace to the top. I didn't make it all the way to the top because I forgot water (totally outsider move, but we had originally planned on going to Red Rocks but it seems the whole of the other 49 states were there). It seemed the small panic in the back of my mind only contributed to my thurst. I ran all the way down. I'm usually too cautious to do it, but something came loose inside today and I just went for it. You run at this really fast pace where it takes little effort from your lungs. You muscles and their memory and balance do all the work and it's like running on a different planet. On my up I was focusing so closely on the trail that I didn't see the herd of 10 or so deer right in front of me. They are super fat this year. Usually they look really thin to me, but the zoning failures of Denver seems to be working in their favor.

On a break, I stopped at this point of overlook where you can see well into the Rockies as well as all of Denver. I literally rolled my eyes and said, "Well, shit". I am really going to miss this place. Only people from other states and the few kids I know that live and breath skiing actually ski. Most people don't realize this. I'm very much a summer Coloradan. The sun, the hiking, the running, the mountains, the river... I much prefer it when it's warm. I liked Nashville just fine... I dunno, maybe it's the humidity.

I'm so happy to be home. I love Frontier Airlines. I have made it a rule to only go to places where Forntier or Jet Blue fly. I don't seem to be very limited on this. They let me hop on an early flight home (I mean, I got the job on the first interview, so I was just wasting money). So after getting in wayyyy early (7 am), the rain and cold kept us inside, a blessing as I needed the rest. I'm also glad to be eating my own food again. It's crazy, someone on 3FC made a thread about that very thing (funny what happens when you put something out there in the world, it actually shows up sometimes). Aside from the ridiuclously inappropriate amount of Jack Daniels the first 2 nights, I was pretty good. But aside from the salads and fresh fruit, it just wasn't the same. I think it's because I had zero part in the process of preparing my food. I find chopping and sauteing (sp?), and deciding what goes with what very calming. I guess it's the involvment of creating something out of many parts. Maybe it's because I eat a lot of fruit and vegetables and I'm attracted to the pretty colors.... at this point....

And the winner is....

I got the internship... with the Academy of Recording Arts and Sciences (aka: the GRAMMYS).

Just so we're on the same page, let's go over what it is. It isn't really about an awards ceremony. It's not about red carpets. It's really a non-profit organization that provides advocacy for industry people that maintain memberships (hence the term Academy...)- artists, management, engineers, producers,etc... They also do recruiting. They also run the MusicCares program, which is what I want to do. They were the people that were down in Mississippi after Katrina replacing band instruments. They are who you want to know and who knows everybody. Everywhere. It's an opportunity for me to remain in music without selling my soul to the devil. I now get to give back.

The interview was amazing. It's run out of this beautiful row house in Nashville just off of music row. The house is full of air and light and good vibes and feminine touches. It is run mostly by these southern women who love to eat, drink, and be merry. I will fit in, I think. Andie Mcdowell is one of my bosses.

So, all in all, it was a success.

The first day and a half was a disaster food-wise. I cut that out though, after the most horrendous Jack Daniels hangover of my entire life. From then on it was salads with dressing on the side, fruit plates, and egg white omeletts. Since I was at sea level, running felt REALLY good, so I did get to work out. Add on to the hiking and running the week before and I am down 2 pounds. Not bad.

Nashvegas. Woot!

I'm so excited I can't even bring myself to pack. That would entail dragging the suitcase off the shelf and trying how to arrange 4 days worth of professional attire (which I highly doubt I even have) in this itty bitty box. Now how am I supposed to fit my interview clothes, my evening wear AND my cowboy boots in one suitcase?

Coming from a divorced home and flying back and forth between Colorado and Houston has taught me the do's and don'ts of traveling.

DO be sure to pack fresh undies and your toothbrush in your carry on if you are checking your clothes

DO make sure to have plenty of quarters or a phone card to call your parent to let them know that United has, in fact, lost you and that you will most likely miss your connection but you will call your best friend that lives in Denver to come get you. (this is of course before parents started arming their kids with cell phones at a ridiculously young age).

DON'T wander away from your chaperone- even to go to the bathroom because they are so dumb, that would be the last place they check.

DON'T pack your entire catalogue of Bop and Tigerbeat magazines, CD's, and books. Most likely the businessman next to you won't appreciate you needing to use his tray table to sort it all out. Okay. So maybe you have upgraded from Bop to Rolling Stone, Elle, and Glamour, but the rule still applies. It's just that now the business man wants to buy you a drink (ew).

DO be sure to see if there is an exit row seat available upon arrival.

AND.....

DO be sure to pack an adequate supply of sedatives because after a childhood's worth of airline travel has left you completely intolerant of the general public.

Have a safe trip.
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I went to Glenwood this weekend. I stayed with David and Rita the first night and my mom the next. I managed to get in a run long the Colorado River when I got in to town and a very strenuous hike the next. My quads hurt. My butt hurts. I drank herbal tea, had a slice of mancinelli's pizza and one of my mom's famous root beer floats and visited my high school to check out this new band director. Interesting fellow. He looks like he's twelve. Hangs out way too much with his students. Wears a very large red crucifix around his neck. He's working very hard to build back up the program that has been in shambles since Mr. Pelz, but conifided to me that he's only using this to bide time before grad school. I looked around the band room in all of it's disarray: the smell of mold, motivational quotes scrawled on printer paper taped together falling off the walls, broken cases, a band director who doesn't seem to care and it all made me sick to my stomach and wanting that Grammy job more and more.

al...most.....there....

Eating: Ok.

Excercise: I haven't run as many days as I intended, but the runs I have gotten in have been awesome.

Mental health: On the brink...

I have been staring at a computer screen for the past few days and I think I'm developing carpal tunnel. I leave for Nashville on Tuesday and my first interview is a lunch meeting with The Grammys. Yup, the grammys. For a band dork like me, this is a dream job because it would entail bridging the connecting between celebrities, charities and school music programs. The thought of ending up in a job that actually allows me to contribute to putting music in schools makes this all worthwhile.

Stop the train. I wanna get off.

So I was perusing blogs today. Sometimes, I just click that little button at the top that says "next blog" and I usually have to go through about 10 before I read one that isn't in spanish, about the Red Sox, or devoted to the stock market or real estate. Today, I found an evangelical that I agree with and a blog that is devoted to everthing that is wrong with Commerce City, Colorado.

What are the chances?

I want to start driving again, except I'm stuck in this parallel universe where I hate driving because someone at some point will kill me and the D line is getting old. Fast. Last week I was sitting in my seat minding my own damn business when this woman SITS ON MY LAP. The weird thing was, she wasn't one of the crazy ones- she just abandoned all of her manners and didn't feel like asking me to scoot over. Do you know how many times in my life I have sat on a complete stranger's lap? None. Not once in 25 years. Surely, it's not that hard to avoid.

And today's incident was just awful. I was standing at the top of the steps, waiting for the train to stop at school when this woman with a little girl of about 3 years old pushes me to get in front so she could get off first. Well, I don't hit women with children in tow (ok fine. I don't hit anyone because I'm a weenie), so I just scoffed. Quietly. And she actually heard it. So she turns around to give me a dirty look and is so irked that she forgets she has a kid with her. Well, the train stops and this kid is standing at the top of the stairs. So when it stops, the kid goes flying head first down the stairs against the door. Then the door opens and squishes this poor child in it. I hope that poor girl was ok (besides having a retard for a mother, I'm sure she was), but the woman was so embarassed that she ran off before I could check (working at a rec facility with tons of kids for 5 years, I have developed a parental instinct to check all children who fall down for life-threatening injuries. This mostly just freaks people out).

Alright, Stephanie. You take the train. I know you have stories. Lets here 'em.

Someone please STOP THE INSANITY. Seriously. Susan Powter is about to bang down my front door and personally rip the refrigerator from the wall. The day that is forever known as PMS Monday is finally over. When I add it all up, it's not all that bad. Some lentil soup. Some cheese. Some strawberries. An orange. Lots of Diet Pepsi.... stuff like that. But I just grazed alllllll day long. And now I feel icky. I now have 2 weeks, count 'em, 2 WEEKS until Nashville and I am not looking or feeling my best as planned. But, as you can see from the items listed above, my kitchen is relatively binge-proof, so that helps. Now I just need to call the grocery stores to tell them to not sell any chocolate products to Ross. There will be no contraband allowed past that front door.

the weather is around 60 this week so I have no excuse not to be hitting the pavement. Actually, I'm quite pleased at how well I've managed without a gym membership. I feel much more free when I can just go outside and "play".

I had my first band concert in 3 years. Boy, did I feel silly. I'll tell you what, though, not as silly as our first chair who played the entire show with her ass hanging out of her pants, facing the audience no less. You know those people who can't ever bother with pulling their pants up? She's one of them. And now 300 people know how white her butt is. I need some knew concert pants. I got these on sale at Old Navy and they are the "skinny" kind, but I wasn't anticipating having them hike halfway up my leg when I sit down and having to pull them down everytime I stand up. And now 300 people know how pasty white my legs are.

Fashion feaux-pas aside, it was a lot of fun. And I'm sure Mr. Pelz stopped by for a number or two.